Om at jeg liker googleoversetteren, faktisk

Vet dere hva? Jeg fikk meg en ny hobby etter at jeg leste A Chinese-English Dictonary For Lovers, nemlig googleoversetting. Jeg kopierer tekstene mine inn i boksen og trykker 'translate to english' og leser mine egne tekster på gebrokkent engelsk og det er så sjarmerende og fint og noen ganger morsomt tilogmed.

Her er jeg faktisk en 'dagen derpå' og måtte ta nummeret på bussen (jeg har aldri hatt behov for å gjøre det):

Today, I am such a bad hangover as I rarely ever have been. All I have done is to lie in the double bed and eating vanilla yogurt nuts, drink mango & apple-juice and read the various free magazines. Around me I have tons of clothes I slammed around me yesterday before the hui and the urgent need to number the bus to town, in addition to concert posters I tore with me yesterday. The idea for Cola gets me to almost break me, the glass on the glass with Cola and whiskey in a hotel in the center. To my great astonishment, I have again two smoke packages (of the cheapest brands, though), how is it possible?

...fra Vinterferie i Bergen
Jeg har lært meg det søte ordet for loppemarked: 'jumble sale' og jeg har prostituert meg for å få penger, men stoppet ikke da jeg hadde fått dem:

We go with him to Christiania: blundering through a jumble sale in your way [...]
[...] but it ended really well and we got to prostitute us, and we have some money and still go on [...]

...fra Backpacking i Skandinavia

Jeg spanderer rompa di en kveld på 7-11:

I love lunch! I have even with my lunch in the drunk, so I'm buying your ass a night on the 7-Eleven.

...fra Oslo

Og her har jeg lært to nye ord for spy og vemmelse:

Hello, I'm not so old! Do I look like that out? Oh, horror and abhorrence!

...fra Når en som tenker for mye tar bussen

To obtain a beer takes forever long since I first need to track my way through the crowd, and from 7-Eleven, it extends a queue to the far out on the street where he Volcom-jumper spews on the sidewalk [...]

...fra Vi kan jo ta en kaffe...

Oi, 'palpitations', det virker jo plutselig kjempealvorlig med hjertebank:

She had dreamed and woke up with panic and rapid palpitations and was relieved when she woke up [...]

Click-rattling sounds of horseshoe against asphalt disappeared slowly but surely, and it was quiet again. She drew zippers in anoraks higher up (so she should not feel the air against your neck longer) and so on clockwise. She decided to go home again.

...fra Skriveøvelser #2: Pause

Her tar jeg med noe bare fordi jeg synes det er fint:

She had exactly the hair I've always wanted that I had (something like Jane Birkin in younger days), just the black boots I wish I had (I have them now), just the clothes that suited her (it was actually not so very special, but they just so special on her), an attitude and way to go on that would certainly seemed just arrogant and horribly on others [...]

...fra Fremmede mennesker

So I stand there and breeze while I read the front page of tabloid newspapers [...]

...fra Steder i Kristiansand #1: Parko

[...] and I had wanted to take the train, yes, take the train from an old, large train stations, such a type of train stations that are located in major cities is down on the continent [...]

...fra Dag Solstad, tog og en liten bit av Europa
I want me a big, white house with large windows, filled with dirty white lacy dresses, luminous globe, a chandelier in the ceiling, old cups and tubs, a wall covered by glossy photos, a tree right in the living room, where glass bottles with a shelf flower juice and cherry juice hang on the branches , a pink room, a bar with all the good rooms, a scene, glitter everywhere, a king-size bed, bookshelf on the shelf with books, write a living room, Lego, dancing skeletons [...]

...fra Følger av å ha lest for mange (jente-)bøker

In the washing machine down in the basement are white sheet and be clean. I wish it was summer and I could put them on the line out and we could sleep in clean sheets dried under the sun and with the window open.

...fra Skriveøvelser #6: Det var i går

Og, ehm...:

But they're good at school in Finland, then, very good, while we in Norway are some relax bastards.
But I have been in Finland, we drove through the desolate landscape where, on the way from Karasjok to Kirkenes, and we stopped at a gas station and I asked for stamps, but she knew not what I said, she is the girl in the shop, but he did the boy in the shop, and they were both very nice, I remember it even if I were ten years younger than I am now. I have actually very good memory, it should not take from me, yes, beer does not make it.

...fra Fakta om Finland
Varme ruller med smeltet Australia! Hakket mer spesielt enn ordinær ost:
[...] I whistle and murmurs together with the birds when I go home from the festivities early in the morning while my shoes rattling against asfalten, I eat my full on warm rolls with melted Australia, I get messages on my cell phone that I should taste shelf flower yogurt, it is known so well, I take pictures with disposable cameras [...]

...fra Litt om livet
Og til sist, her har jeg blitt lesbisk:
My girlfriend tells me that there are no submarines with glass windows , we just sit inside a big black thing that looks like a whale [...]

...fra Om farkoster under vann